Another chapter…

A couple of months ago I was asked to write “my story.”  That may seem an odd thing to be asked; I’m not a celebrity, not a renowned sports player, business mogul, or community activist.  In many ways there’s nothing remarkable at all about me or about my story.  And yet we all, each one of us, have a complex, involved, fascinating story; we have our origin stories, and our continuing adventures, and despite what we may think we are forever embarking on new chapters.  “We are large, we contain multitudes,” to misquote Walt Whitman, and we all have our own story to tell.

The unusual thing is being asked to tell that story.  For me, it was in relation to my mental health, and how my illness has played such a large role in how I came to be the person I am, and how I have come to be in the place that I am.  I was asked by someone from Action Mental Health to write something that I would be comfortable sharing with others, to relate how I came to become a client in their New Horizons programme, and the impact and benefit that has had on my life.  I am due to leave the service, and I am more than happy to relate my story, and the huge positive impact that it has had on my life.  Yet it’s a complex story, one that involves not just their role in helping me with my mental health, but also a long and drawn out tale of my continuing lack of support and treatment from my local mental health service, and the ongoing fight I am going through.  Despite being told that I have severe mental health problems I have yet, after many many years of trying, to receive any help or treatment from the NHS.  Really for me my only solace these last few years has come from being involved with AMH; it’s not an exaggeration to say that they have been a lifesaver for me, as I honestly doubt that I’d still be here without their support and help.  Alas I haven’t quite yet finished that piece of writing; as you can imagine it’s a large task, and I’m afraid to say that my at times poor mental health hasn’t been up to the task.

Chapters close, and new ones begin.  My time at AMH New Horizons is ending, and as part of that closing chapter they want to ensure that I have something to move on to, something positive, a continuation of life.  I am considering taking up studying again, retraining, embarking on something that leads to new opportunities and new ventures.  With their help though, and in association with the MAC, Belfast’s leading cultural hub and arts centre, there is the opportunity for me to partake in voluntary work.  I jumped at the chance; I have long been interested in the arts, and would love the opportunity to be even a small part of that world.  I have always been a creative person, and my creativity has been one of the mainstays of my means of managing my mental health.  To be in an environment that nurtures and promotes the arts, to be amongst like-minded people – it is a wonderful opportunity for me to “emerge” back into the world in an environment I feel an affection and an affiliation for.  For many years now I haven’t quite been a part of the world; I’ve been somewhat isolated, my only real contact being through classes and events that AMH have ran.  With so much of that being done remotely it’s all too easy to remain isolated, closed off from the outside world.  Now though, with this opportunity, I feel that it’s my time to emerge, to rejoin the world that has been going on around me without my participation.  It’s an opportunity that gives me hope, and a positive beginning to the next chapter of my life.

It’s my intention to write a little bit about this emergence, about this opportunity, about volunteering, about the MAC itself.  For me this is a wonderful opportunity – to dip my toe back into the world, and to embrace my creativity and write about it.  I hope you’ll join me as I embark on this, my latest adventure, my latest chapter.

Action Mental Health (AMH) actively promotes the mental health and well-being of people in Northern Ireland. For more information please visit their website at amh.org.uk.

The MAC is an award-winning cultural hub and arts venue in the heart of Belfast’s Cathedral Quarter. For more information please see their site at themaclive.com.